Speech Blunders : What NOT to do!

Don't "Read" your Speech.
Don't say "Ummm"
Don't Talk to "Fast"
Turn "Off" your mic when you go to the Bathroom.
John's Wedding Speech Blunder
Bushspeak

Don't "Read" your Speech.
This is an example of what not to do in an extemporaneous speech. No reading allowed. Reading your speech is a great way to bore your audience and to lose lots of points.

Don't say "Umm... " ........ "Ummm... "
This guy needs a speech therapist
This is JDN. He didn't do so well in public speaking, but he's a great poker player

Don't Talk Too Fast
This is a video of me reciting the books of the Bible (Old and New Testaments) the Book of Mormon, the 50 US States, the alphabet backwards, and all 43 United States Presidents in just under 60 seconds.(!)

This is something I've been doing for quite a while. This version has its origins as early as 1985, when I learned a 50 states song in 3rd Grade. I added pieces to it until about 1993, when this thing reached its current version. I have timed myself as quickly as 53 seconds, but this video has minimal errors and is fairly understandable.

Hopefully, no one is offended because I include religious-oriented items in the list.

Also, for any who may be curious about my appearance, no, my right eye isn't the result of an injury; I was born with ptosis, which causes the eyelid to droop. While my vision is limited in that eye, I'm not blind.

Here's a transcript of the list:
Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, Samuel, Samuel, Kings, Kings, Chronicles, Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habbakuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, First and Second Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Phillipians, Colossians, First and Second Thessalonians, Timothy, Timothy, Titus, Philemon, Hebrews, James, Peter, Peter, John, John, John, Jude, Revelation, First and Second Nephi, Jacob, Enos, Jarom, Omni, Words of Mormon, Mosiah, Alma, Helaman, Third and Fourth Nephi, Mormon, Ether, Moroni, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming, Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, C, B, A, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, James K. Polk, Zachary Taylor, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James A. Garfield, Chester A. Arthur, Grover Cleveland, Benjamin Harrison, Grover Cleveland, William McKinley, Teddy Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, Woodrow Wilson, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert C. Hoover, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Harry S Truman, Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard M. Nixon, Gerald R. Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush. (Thank you).

Turn "Off" your mic when you go to the Bathroom.

CNN's Kyra Phillips Forgets to Turn Off Mic
The audio of Phillips' conversation could be heard overriding President Bush's remarks approximately ten minutes into the President's speech. While the President could be heard during the exchange, Phillips' gaffe was very distracting:

Kyra Phillips: "--assholes--Yeah, I'm very lucky in that regard with my husband. My husband is handsome and he is genuinely a loving, you know, no ego--[unintelligible] you know what I'm saying. Just a really passionate, compassionate great, great human being. And they exist. They do exist. They're hard to find. Yup. But they are out there."

[unidentified woman]: 'We'll see. He's going to come, you know, he's set for an extended visit--[unintelligible]"

Phillips: "I mean, that's, that's how you figure it all out, those extended visits. [laughter]"

[unidentified woman]: "Yeah, but my mom, I think she really likes him."

Phillips: "Mom's got a good vibe? Good."

[unidentified woman]: "Yeah, my brother's the one that--[unintelligible]"

Phillips: "Brother--of course, brothers have to be, you know, protective. Except for mine. I've got to be protective of him."

[unidentified woman--unintelligible]

Phillips: "Yeah. He's married, three kids, but his wife is just a control freak."

[unidentified woman #2]: "Kyra."

Phillips: "Yeah, baby?"

[unidentified woman #2]: "Your mic is on. Turn it off. It's been on the air."

Seconds later, Daryn Kagan stumbled through this awkward transition:

Daryn Kagan: "Alright, we've been listening in to President Bush as he speaks in, uh, New Orleans today. This is the one year anniversary of Katrina making land shore there. President Bush saying if another natural disaster hits, our country--we must, uh, react better than that. Let's listen in once again to President Bush."